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“Mirrors should think longer before they reflect.” Jean Cocteau 

I watched a film yesterday where in one scene a five-year-old boy who has been held hostage his whole life stares in wonder as he sees his reflection for the first time. It got me thinking about how many baby toys are mirror-based. Isn’t it sad that for so many of us a time comes when mirrors change from being objects that captivate and entertain to ones that admonish and chastise?

In celebration of mirrors reflecting good things, here’s a self portrait that I love. I took it playing around in a hotel bathroom in Berlin some 18 months ago – before this blog was even born. I like the framing of the photo and how my breast and arse look but one of the things I love most is that it reminds me of a really fun holiday with friends. 

Sinful Sunday

Marathon Woman

We’re nearly there! Hopefully by this time tomorrow I will be there. ‘There’ being the finish line of the London Marathon. If I’m not, then I definitely didn’t beat my last time, which was 88 seconds into the six hour family. If I knock 89 seconds off to get 5.59.59 I’ll be more than happy!

I’ve written before about being a slow runner and I’ve written about the legacy of school sport. Running is not about speed for me and sport is not about competing, even with myself (I only thought about looking at my split times from my marathon in 2014 four days ago!). For me, sport is about enjoying moving my body through fresh air or water, the feeling of fitness, and relishing the unique headspace that comes from time spent alone exercising. And it’s often about the money!

Tomorrow I will be running for a charity that funds research into premature birth, stillbirth and miscarriage. Last summer my niece was born three months early weighing just 1lb 12oz (800g). She’s eight months old now and her latest trick is pulling out her oxygen tubes and using them as a teething toy! Since I started training, some 24,000 babies in the UK have been born early, over 900 have been stillborn, and 1 in 4 pregnancies have ended in miscarriage. Which makes me pretty proud that my fundraising total is just shy of £3000 and that many more hours of research will be paid for. It’s also pretty overwhelming that a couple of hundred pounds of that has come from people in this community, most of whom I haven’t met in real life or have known just a year or so. THANK YOU! Trust me, the generosity and goodwill gets you out to train in the cold wet winter and it makes the hard bits on the big day easier to cope with.

My fundraising page is in my real name so I’m not linking to it here, but if you want to donate, drop me a message on Twitter at @exposing40 or in the comments below and I’ll send the link. Xxx

PS. I’m laughing in the photo because my partner in crime for the photo had just quipped, ‘put some effort into it, then!’ Cheeky sod! 😉


Sinful Sunday


I was scrolling back through Molly’s archive recently, looking for a link to her post on Pussy Pride to include in my Great Wall of Vagina review. In the process I discovered that Sunday 17th April 2011 was the first Sinful Sunday. So today is its fifth anniversary! The traditional gift for the fifth anniversary is wood, so here is a wonderful shot Molly took of me in the woods last summer. Thanks Molly for all your hard work in keeping Sinful Sunday rocking and for helping us all express ourselves in such an amazing way. xxx


Sinful Sunday

Elust #81 – all the hotness for your Saturday morning reading pleasure!

Hyacinth foe Elust 81
Photo courtesy of A Dissolute Life Means

Welcome to Elust #81

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #82 Start with the rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Who Are You Calling Crazy Cat Lady?

Stranger on a Train

Taking Emilia


~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

The Sign
Everyday sexism

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

The Best Sex

My most read post this month was Normal is Everyone’s Different

Erotic Fiction

Johnny on the Spot
Caught Watching
A is for the ache I feel…
OVER THE EDGE – but softly
This is Love

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

The NiteFlirt-Twitter Findom-Shout Complex
Donald Trump: Feminist

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Do What You Want
Setting expectations
Held Captive

Erotic Non-Fiction

My Rope Life Rebooted
I Needed my Fix
Beautiful, Loving, Surprise Birthday Blowjob!
Mind and Body
Bukkake, Babe, that’s me! Or is it?
Jun 2014 Session – Mistress Claire & Robynn
Don’t Just Fuck Her!
Mid Week Fantasizing — The 3some
I told him I’m Hy.

Writing About Writing

Captive Audience: Dubious Consent Fantasy


He is Risen! A Lusty Limerick
Thin – an erotic poem


The illusion of familiarity…

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Be A Better Lover
Who Owns My Sexual Agency?

Body Talk and Sexual Health

Boobs on my Mind
ELust Site Badge

Flat (out gorgeous)

I have mixed feelings about this photo. Of all the photos my amazing friend, (The Photographer) has taken of me this is the only one that makes me uncomfortable, focusing as it does on my flat nipples. So why post it? I’m not looking for compliments or reassurance, I’m posting it as a reflection on how far a project like this can take you.

Through his art Nicolas articulates and celebrates all body types. He thinks brilliantly. And when he photographs me I trust him completely. Although I have my visceral response to this photo, the logical part of my brain knows that to have chosen this image in his final selection he must see something in it that I don’t and therefore others may see something too. I will probably never love this photo as an image of me, but I love that it represents what I have learnt, which is that we rarely see ourselves as others see us. 

Also, we are not our bodies; we are our spirit and our kindness and the way we live our lives and the way we treat those around us. Our bodies just carry us. How gorgeous someone finds our ‘casing’ is in part driven by our wider behaviour. I talked about this post with a girlfriend last night. On Thursday she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I told her the words I had chewing over in my head for this post and how I couldn’t really decide whether or not it was one to post at the moment. Was it a bit self-indulgent given all that’s going on? We decided they were words worth sharing, probably more so now than ever. And our conclusion after a few wines? “All boobs are gorgeous. Health is what matters!”

Good luck for Friday gorgeous woman! Xx


Sinful Sunday

Normal is Everyone’s Different

I cry quite easily. OK, I cry really easily. But really, you try reading the comments section on the Great Wall of Vagina site without welling up…

It’s too late for me and my health because it got ruined by labiaplasty. But it isn’t too late for others and I honour and thank you for this.

Great Wall of Vagina“I’m 17 and was really self-conscious about my ‘lady parts’. I was already thinking about having surgery to ‘fix’ it. Seeing your sculpture totally changed my mind and now I feel 100 times better about myself!”

“I was referred to this site by my gynaecologist when I asked about vaginal rejuvenation. I’m happy to discover that I am perfect already.” 

This important piece of art has allowed my daughter and me to discuss and explore how everyone is different and beautiful.”

Much has been written about Jamie McCartney’s Great Wall of Vagina and I am sure most of you will know of it. For those of you who don’t, it’s a nine-metre-long plaster cast sculpture of 400 vulvas, featuring women aged from 18 to 76 and including mothers and daughters, identical twins, transgendered men and women, a woman pre- and post-natal and another pre- and post-labiaplasty.

Speaking at Sh! on Saturday, McCartney revealed that he had hoped to feature more post-labiaplasty women, but only one of the eight who had been cast pre-op returned. Why? Because, rather brilliantly, they had all changed their mind about going ahead with the operation after seeing their plaster cast. “I had always thought it looked like a parrot’s beak,” exclaimed one, apparently astonished to find that she looked ‘normal’. Or, more to the point, when she realised that normal is actually that everyone is different.

And the one who did come back to be recast post-op? Well she bought her friend to do the cast because she was so unhappy with the results of her operation she didn’t want Jamie to see her again. How overwhelmingly sad that a woman should feel so ashamed of how she looks she puts herself under the knife, then feels more shame as a result.

The strapline of the Great Wall of Vagina is ‘Changing Female Body Image through Art’ and it is clear how committed McCartney is to using his work to help women think differently about themselves. He believes the power of plaster casting as a tool for reflecting on self-image lies in the fact it’s three dimensional, tactile and offers a scale that doesn’t always exist in the flatness of a photograph or a reflection in the mirror. He revealed how plaster casting his own body helped him deal with his own eating disorder and told of mothers bringing their anorexic daughters to be cast by him so they can truly see how they look.

McCartney had been dabbling in genital plaster casting with partners for some time but decided to develop the project after being shocked to learn that that labiaplasty was one of the fastest growing cosmetic surgery procedures in the UK. He wanted to use his art to educate, inform and change attitudes. He probably didn’t imagine that a decade on his art would be featured in educational text books and that the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, the body that sets clinical standards and provides doctors with training and lifelong learning, would exhibit his work. Amazing!

One of the most poignant stories he told was not of a woman who used the opportunity to be cast to reflect on how she looks but instead used it to take ownership of her own body. In the book of the project she writes about the experiences rape and abortion and feeling that “my cunt has always been violated.” Through being cast she felt she had changed the narrative of her body.

It really is the most brilliant life-changing piece of sculpture!

A section of the Great Wall of Vagina is currently on show at Sh! and I would definitely recommend you have a wander round the website too. And did you know that almost five years ago it was this sculpture also inspired Molly’s amazing Pussy Pride project? Check that out too!

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

His View, Reprised

“I don’t know what to do for the favourites prompt.”

“Why don’t you do a display of your favourite photos on the TV screen and photograph yourself wanking over them?’

Mmm, a cool idea, and one that taps into the voyeur and the exhibitionist in me, but while this project has brought my body confidence on leaps and bounds and I can now admire myself, I am not sure I am ready to wank over self portraits! But over a memory of one being taken? That’s another thing entirely…


As an aside, this is one of my favourite photographs of myself. It first appeared here in July 2014, it was the second anonymous photo I had posted and the first time I had alluded to issues of body confidence. It was also the first time I had seen something to admire in my breasts. So I guess it was the seed of this project!

Sinful Sunday