Behind the Camera

My Twitter profile describes this as a “body positive photography adventure for friends of all shapes & sizes. Some behind the camera, some in front, some provide ideas.” Completely unprompted, this has just arrived in my inbox. I am blown away. But for the record, I disagree with the first bit…

Let’s get the sob-story stuff out of the way first.

I’ve always known I wasn’t pretty. A school photographer implied it when I was 13 and my mother confirmed it for me not long after that by telling people at a family gathering that my older sister had been a beautiful baby. When I asked if I’d been beautiful, she told me I’d been ‘funny-looking’.

Never fish for compliments, boys and girls, you might just find an old boot on the end of your line.

Anyway. As a result of trying to be more pretty I’ve experimented over the years with a selection of unwise make-up products, awful clothes, and no-sane-person-would-willingly-choose-this hairstyles. My clothes size over the years has fluctuated between a size 22 and a size 14 (the black coffee and cigarette years). I’ve got weird teeth. Honestly, I could sit and tell you every single thing that’s wrong with my body and my face and I could probably also tell you every fat-shaming comment that’s been directed my way. Some of them are even in French, ooh la la.

But that’s as far as the poor me diatribe goes.

What I don’t have in looks, I more than make up for in personality. I have a brain. I have a wicked sense of humour. And I am creative.

As soon as C told us about Exposing 40 I started thinking of photographic concepts. For other people rather than for myself, although I did have an ill-advised attempt at some selfies in a pair of spike-heeled sex-shoes. I’ve been reading the blog avidly and am marveling at how stunning all the photos look, and the precious stories behind them.

I’m not planning my own naked photo yet. I don’t feel comfortable yet with the idea of being a) photographed and b) judged. But this weekend I’ll be up at 6am to art direct what is sure to be a gorgeous shot. I have sketches aplenty and more ideas than you can shake a stick at.

I may not be a beauty, but I’m a fucking goddess when it comes to creating something beautiful.

7 thoughts on “Behind the Camera

  1. I hope she will agree to being photographed at some point. I’ll bet she *is* a beauty, just listening to the wrong voices for a lot of years.

    Exposing 40, I adore that your project is inspiring these kinds of conversations!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: The Great Exhibitionist | exposing40

  3. Have you ever known someone good-looking? Have you ever got to know them, found them rather dull, then noticed how their looks aren’t so striking? Gorgeous faces pale into insignificance if the person inside doesn’t measure up. It works the other way, too. Often, you won’t notice someone as a stand-out beauty on first sight, however, get to know them a little better and often you struggle to see how you didn’t notice how attractive they were in the first place! Beauty’s a complicated and subjective thing and you can never assume you don’t have it. We all do – just in different ways.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Look At Me Now | exposing40

  5. Pingback: Never say Never | Jedi Hamster

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