Lutz Wanking, a fantasy.

“Don’t stop.”

“What?”

“Don’t stop,” I repeat, sitting back on heels and dropping my camera to my lap for moment.

It’s a warm spring day and we’ve been walking in the woods for a couple of hours, chatting aimlessly while also keeping an eye out for hidden spots away from the main path. We’ve found one. Our usual drill follows – I test a couple of frames and angles while you undress. Moving into position you reach down and give your cock a couple of swift strokes. You’ve no intention of getting yourself hard, it’s just part of what you do to get camera ready. It always makes my cunt pulse. I usually ignore how damn hot it is and just focus on getting the shot, but today I don’t want to.

I’m on my knees, ready to get the angle I wanted for my photo and looking up at you against the trees has brought the image of Lutz Wanking to mind. It’s no secret that Tillmans is one of my favourite photographers (I’ve used his work as inspiration before, after all) but the Lutz Wanking shot is just everything. A naked man, wanking for the camera, in the woods. It’s got me written all over it.

“I want you to wank. Here. In the woods. For my camera.”

Your expression is a mixture of disbelief and mild discomfort. An exhibitionist you may be but there’s a difference between the risk of being caught naked and apologetically passing it off as an art project and being caught wanking. For a moment I think you’re going to refuse but you hold my gaze, spit in your palm and move your hand back to your cock. Your jaw is set and you look almost annoyed by the situation but as your cock hardens your face softens.

I watch. I watch as your body relaxes into the pleasure. I see your knees sag slightly and your eyes close as you tilt your head back and lean against the tree. I take in the sheen across your chest and the colour rising in your neck. Your rhythm changes and I clench my cunt in time to the brief pauses in the short staccato pumps of your hand.

As the grunts rise from your chest I raise my camera to my face and capture the shot I’ve fantasised about.

In the small hours of Sunday morning, sleepless in a hot mosquito ridden room in Nairobi, playing this scene in my head resulted in a deliciously intense orgasm. A few hours later I read this week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt. It seemed too much of a coincidence to not share this fantasy with you. I hope to make my tribute photograph a reality soon though!

Lutz Wanking, Wolfgang Tillmans, 1991

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

The Long Shadow

Me: I still have ‘big scary post’ on my list.

EA: You really need to just write that

Me: I’m basically never going to write that post, am I? Not unless there’s some celibacy prompt on Wicked Wednesday or something that I won’t be able to ignore.

EA: Smirks.

I periodically like to brainstorm blog ideas with Exhibit A and it’s often successful, but this time it came back to bite me on the bum. By the time we’d finished dinner Marie had emailed him to confirm that celibacy was now on the list of future prompts. Stitch up. Possibly. But the fact is this blog is four years old next month and I’ve had ‘big scary post’ on my list of things to write for almost as long. So why have I taken nearly four years to write this and why, when I sat down on Monday evening to write it, did I almost sabotage it by purposely letting myself get upset by something entirely unrelated? How exactly did it come to be called ‘big scary post’ anyway?

If I’m honest I think it’s because I was (am?) ashamed. Ashamed and embarrassed to write about a period of my life where I didn’t have sex for five years. Then, after that drought was broken, went on to only have a handful of flings over the following few years. Nine years where I could, if I thought about it for not too long, probably remember every occasion that I had sex. There is no reason to feel ashamed about this, I had done nothing wrong. Thankfully, there was no distressing reason for it either – no abusive relationship in my past and I wasn’t harbouring an unrequited love or nursing heartbreak. I wasn’t being unnecessarily unkind so that karma got me (sorry, but I totally believe in karma!) and I didn’t have sex on a pedestal. I was just a normal late twenties woman who’d had a couple of infatuations, a small love, a big love and a good amount of fun casual sex during the ‘Camden party days’. That my sex life dried up was entirely circumstantial.

First off, marriage and babies happened. Not for but me but for all the people I used to party with. There is a period during your late twenties and early thirties where you are on a merry-go-round of hen dos, weddings and new baby celebrations. The life that you knew momentarily becomes hijacked by celebrations of other people’s milestones. Of course, this is wonderful, but if you’re not on that path you emerge slightly bewildered that your own life has ‘settled down’ against your will and with you as a solo player. For a while, if you want to stay close to your oldest friends you swap stumbling home at 3am with tales to tell for a bottle of wine on their sofa and interrupted conversation. (Spoiler: the storm passes and before you know it they’ll be up for stumbling home at 3am again and if you’re really lucky you’ll have some new friends in the shape of their children.)

I also chose that time to start working in a sector with a higher than average proportion of women and gay men. My now business partner (who I met at work) was the only man in a department of 30 women. My (gay male) desk mate once looked up at the huge open plan office and said “do you know, we can only see seven men from our desk and they’re all gay.” I wasn’t likely to meet a string of suitors for casual affairs at work!

“What about online dating?” I hear you cry. Mmm. I refer you to the age rings in my trunk and ask you to count the years backwards! Online dating was fledgling back then. I joined Dating Direct and Guardian Soulmates and every so often I half-heartedly went on a dates but those sites largely filled me with doom. The fundamental flaw with them was they assumed that everyone was looking for ‘the one’ and people behaved accordingly. Namely, in a tedious this-is-how-a-first-date-should-be-done way. If that wasn’t your bag there weren’t really any options 15 years ago. I still remember the straw that broke the camel’s back. I spotted a hot bloke on Soulmates and clicked on his profile. “I wake up to Radio 4 and go to sleep to Radio 6”. Really? REALLY? Your opener is going to be that self-conscious? I didn’t hang around to read the rest but I am sure if I had got to sentence three I would have discovered that on a Saturday evening he liked to curl up with a bottle of red wine and a DVD.

Apps for hooking up and sites where you could be more nuanced in your preferences were way in the future. In hindsight, I am sure there were numerous like-minded men who would have been more than happy with the kind of relationship that I now know suits me but those conversations were not happening in the early noughties. At 30 the idea that I would one day use apps to seek out men who were specifically looking for a secondary partner rather than ‘the one’, or couples looking for a regular play partner would have been inconceivable. That tech did not yet exist and my social life had shrunk to nights in with mates and nights out after work with colleagues and I just slipped into a place of acceptance that sex wasn’t part of my life.

So, if I can objectively look at the personal, professional and tech environment that I was operating in and recognise the circumstantial nature of my celibacy, why do I still feel shame about it? And why was it a ‘big scary post’ for so long? I think it was scary because however much I can rationalise why it happened there is still a part of me that sees it as a reflection on me. I am embarrassed that I accepted without much of a fight the loss of something so important and fun. And I worry that all the rational reasons I use to explain why it happened are just hot air. That actually it might be that I just wasn’t hot and that people didn’t fancy me. That thought casts the longest shadow.

There is much about my physical self that I love. I love my height, my legs, my arse, my hair and my face does a very good job of reflecting who I am on the inside. I don’t like my belly or my tits but generally as a whole package I can live with what I’ve got. But I don’t really believe I am hot. And that lack of confidence in my physical appeal bleeds into sexual confidence. I equate being good at sex with being physically appealing and as long as I don’t really believe I am physically appealing I don’t really believe I am good at sex. I should say at this point that I think I suck cock like a boss and I have awesome partners who work hard to reassure me that I am hot and good and that I should just shut the fuck up about all of this, but the voices in our head linger.

So what changed? How did I emerge from a sex-free decade to the life I have now? At 36 I became self-employed. I joined a host of freelance networking groups and bobbed about all over London meeting new people. Overnight I had new circles of friends, all in the mid-thirties to late forties ball park and virtually all of them committed to nurturing just one baby – their business. I had a found a new tribe and they shared my priorities. Within months I was having a fling with a fellow freelancer. Then in early 2012 I was on a contract where idle lunchtime chat with a fellow consultant led to her saying, “You haven’t heard of OKC? Oh my God – it’s amazing! I am having so much sex!” And the rest as they say is history. There I have met many more like-minded people, one of whom led me to this tribe.

The app can get a bad rap and people can be inappropriate but I don’t really see a whole lot of difference between a drunk bloke in the pub pinching my arse and saying my dress would look better on his bedroom floor (hello North Wales circa 1995!) and someone being suggestive in an app. They’re certainly easier to mute in an app than the pub! I think of OKC as being like the flirty parties and pubs of my twenties. I don’t give a fuck what radio station you listen to and I like watching movies on my own. Some flirting and some suggestive chat as a gateway to some drinking and fucking suits me fine. Would I have had the wilderness years that I did had something like OKC existed in 2003? Probably not. Am I bitter that it didn’t exist 15 years ago? Hell yes!

So now I am in the happy place that I am – with one regular partner who I value deeply and other more casual affairs that come in and out of my life according to how my diary is dictated by my business (roll on April when work quietens down for six months and I’ll be looking for this year’s spring/summer flings!) – I have finally written this post. How do I feel? Relieved to be honest. That period of my life sometimes makes me feel a bit of fraud in this community and, like I said, the long shadow affects my self-confidence at times when I feel more vulnerable. But something I have learnt here over the last four years is that almost every time I have worn my heart on my sleeve someone has popped up to echo my sentiments or to express relief that they are not alone. Part of what makes this community strong is how honest people are and how giving they are of their own experiences in supporting others. It’s kind of a relief to look at this secret, take a deep breath and chuck it in the fuck it bucket.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Curtain Time

I was staying at a hotel last night. It was a mid-range chain so I wasn’t really expecting anything special but when I walked into my room the full length curtains and the lighting above them had a drama to them that made the scene feel almost theatrical.

Sinful Sunday

After the Flood (reprise)

Today is day three of my period. I’m not wearing a tampon. I didn’t wear one on day one or two either. In fact, I haven’t worn a tampon for months, maybe even more than a year. These days my periods are so light that I only know they’re here by a very slight colouring of the loo roll. In fact, earlier today, knowing I was going to write this, I giggled when I wiped my hands and the juice from a blood orange left more of a mark on a tissue than an earlier bathroom visit had.

Things used to be very different. I used to plan my work diary to avoid leaving the house on day three of my period. If day three fell at the weekend and I was away I would take my own towels to wrap around me like a nappy in case I ruined a friend’s mattress. Dates, nights out, exercise – all of them would be embargoed if it was day three. Day three was when the floodgates opened. Literally.

Then in summer 2016 a pub conversation with Livvy set in place a chain of events that led me, five months later, to surgery. Nothing serious – just a simple 15 minute procedure to remove what turned out to be “a multitude” of polyps and insert a Mirena Coil to stop them coming back again. Today, I would delight in answering the white trouser question very differently!

Had that conversation not happened would I still be on that frankly horrible monthly rollercoaster, living in fear of public embarrassment? Or would I have eventually taken myself to the doctors of my own volition? I’d like to think the latter, but who knows; I was already putting up with ridiculous levels of inconvenience and had made it my normal. And too many women do this. One of the reasons I’m so glad to see Sub Bee’s new meme, Menstruation Matters is because it provides a place where we can all share our stories and experiences and where we think someone might need a gentle nudge to seek help or just a friendly word, we can help.

So is it all a bed of roses now? Not exactly, but it’s nothing I can’t deal with. Although my monthly bleeding is nothing more than mild spotting now, other things have changed. I rarely (ok – sorry – never!) had period pain but now I get very definite cramping. I’d hesitate it to call it real pain but because I’ve never experienced cramps before I do get a bit cats bottom mouth about them, especially as I cramp but don’t bleed. The most problematic change is emotional. When I was talking to friend around the time of the op and told her I was going for the Mirena Coil she replied: “ah, PMS to FMS!” I pressed her on this. Apparently FMS is fat miserable and spotty. These were the side effects she’d read about when she was researching her own procedure. Fat we’ll come back to. Spotty – I have been annoyingly fortunate on that front all my life. But oh my, miserable? Yes!

I’m not talking ongoing constant malaise but as regular as clockwork a few days before my ghost period arrives I get truly distressed about things. In the old days I’d get all ranty and cross, now I just get really really upset with someone-is-pouring-a-watering-can-down-my-face level of tears. It’s mildly annoying but unlike the hormonal swings of my twenties, when the pill didn’t agree with me, I feel more robust when it comes to coping with these dips. They just happen. It just is. It lasts 24 or 48 hours and then it passes. What I find most fascinating is they’re never irrational tears. When I used to get angry and rant, that was often about stupid pointless things of no consequence or out of my control and afterwards I would feel stupid. Now, I find myself intensely upset about things that I may have been trying to push under the surface for the rest of the month and then – boom! – in the same way a hot flannel will bring a spot to the surface and make it easier to pop, my cycle brings all that emotion up and out. It took a while to cotton onto my new patterns but now I have I am more prepared for them and I examine more closely what that emotional purge is telling me.

And then the fat thing. The official paperwork says fewer than 5% of women experience weight gain, although 5% of the number of women who have one fitted is probably a lot of women. I have put on a fairly significant amount of weight in the two years since the op. But I would be really really disinclined to say that’s coil-related, it’s almost certainly life-style related. Many people talk about ‘eat less, move more’ as a method of losing weight. I generally gleefully subscribe to the ‘eat loads, move loads’ method of making sure my clothes continue to fit! I’m lucky enough to usually enjoy good physical health and I love exercise so this isn’t usually a problem but a stupid accident on a bus last spring left my knee in a sorry state and seen me in and out of X-ray rooms and MRI pods. Of course, I haven’t tempered my eating or drinking to match my reduction in exercise – if anything I’ve done more of both in response to work stress. In short, I’m 99% sure consumption and lack of movement is the cause of my weight gain and that in time normal service will resume. However, if someone was to say to me it is all because of the coil, would I have it removed so my favourite clothes fitted again? No bloody way. Excuse the pun! I never want to find myself hiding in a graveyard washing my legs or cleaning my carpets at 3am again.

So that’s my before and after! If you’re experiencing periods that are disrupting your life, don’t be like me and wait years to get it sorted – book an appointment with your GP right now!

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Menstruation Matters

Frost

I was hoping for a beautiful frosty morning so that @19syllables and I could go off for our first photo adventure of 2019 for the F prompt. Alas, it was not to be! So appliance made frost it is…

A frozen dildo really is the most delicious thing. It feels fantastic but the visually stimulated side of me just loves the way it looks straight from the freezer. I also love looking at it when the heat of my cunt has revealed the glass and just a tiny bit of frost remains on the stem.

Sinful Sunday

40 over 40

So, this list was born out of a ‘for fuck’s sake’ moment, which if truth be told is the starting point for many of my posts! Earlier this year I read an article about ’40 under 40′ and tweeted that I might just make a ’40 over 40′ list! Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s important to celebrate young talent and I know that most of the lists in professional journals are just PR guff, but it’s still annoying that public recognition for talent and value is so often given an age cap. I’d written about the issue of invisibility as we age just a couple of months earlier. The tweet was well-received with lots of people saying ‘yay, do it’. And that’s as far as I got. Then I decided to resurrect the idea for the Twixtmas period and my end of year round-up. Some points to note:

1) Bloggers under 40 are amazing too – this is just a game.

2) There is zero science to this whatsoever – if you want an extraordinary list that someone puts hours and hours of work into then you need to read the Top 100 Sex Bloggers list that Molly curates every year.

3) This was compiled through me already knowing people’s ages and through people putting their hand up to being over 40 or giving others shout outs.

4) I thought I’d be struggling to come up with 40 but I ended up with way more. So I’ve started with my A team and then there’s 40 listed alphabetically. My game my rules!

5) Don’t be offended if you’re not on here – it was all done very quickly! This is just fun and the list can get to 140 if necessary so feel free to ask to be added. I’m not going to reorder it to keep it alphabetical though. That was an arse enough first time round so I’ll just add to the bottom now!

The A Team

Haiku

I’ve included a link to an account where Haiku sometimes lists her work but really you’ll find her all over – she’s at my place regularly and has guested on The Other Livvy, GOTN, Bibulous and probably more. That’s just the kind of social butterfly she is. She’s a joy and my life would be less without her.

Honey

One of the most self-aware, honest and inspiring women I know. Too often hard on herself (IMO!) but the most loyal champion of her family and those close to her. I admire her strength of character so much.

Maria

Goddamn it woman, when are you moving to London Town? I can lose HOURS on Skype talking to Maria and I really find it hard to believe I’ve only met her once (even though that once involved all sorts of delicious and crazy adventures over 10 days she was my house guest).

Molly

Molly, the mothership! Where would we be without Molly? Where would I be without Molly? Sinful Sunday has brought so many wonderful people and awesome experiences into my life I can’t help but gush about it. The only problem with Molly is where she lives. I can accept infrequent meetings with Tabitha and Maria as they are miles away but Molly is just close enough to not feel far away but just too far away for impromptu outings like I enjoy with the South London people. Damn our busy work schedules. I hope for another Molly photo adventure one day!

Tabitha

Tabitha is a beacon of joy in our community but also the BEST person to share gossipy Prosecco-loaded pyjama parties with. I love this woman’s spirit and how she rallies us all with things like daily orgasm challenges. She writes fucking hot fiction, takes jaw-dropping photos but also – most importantly – writes with so much honesty and vulnerability about mental health and her relationship with her body. I am proud she let me photograph her.

1) A Queerer Journey

A new blogger and one I’m really looking forward to reading and seeing more of, not least because the man and women’s underwear combo. A kinkster blogging their journey from within the first month of their kink adventures is an interesting journey for readers to go on with them.

2) All a Blur

I love this man’s photography so much. He shares his work direct to his feed rather than on a blog, but he’s well worth a follow. He’s been shooting nude self portraits and nudes of others for 30+ years and his back catalogue is wonderful. I particularly like it when he shoots a new version of an old shot.

3) Anna Hopeful

I met Anna in the summer when she slid into my DMs and asked if she could come on the Brexit march with me. I’m so glad she did. She’s a dating blogger who as her pen name suggests was always hopeful – and the hope paid off because she’s at an exciting new chapter in her life. Dating bloggers seem to be less joyful than sex bloggers (the coal face of dating is far more brutal and with more ill-feeling, it seems) so it’s nice to have found such a happy dating blogger.

4) Bibulous One

I love this blog so much. I love it for the openess with which it is written and how much B wears his heart on his sleeve. It allows me insight into a world I’d otherwise never understand and that’s a real privilege. And his most thoughtful posts (like the one about telling his brother about his blog) are spine-tingling.

5) Candy Snatch Reviews

I  read Candy’s blog but mainly I just stare at her photos. Her hair, her make-up, her clothes! I bloody love how she curates her look – so much care and attention and to stunning effect. She’s the opposite to me with my ‘fling something on and minimal make-up’ and I drink it in. But we women are more than how we look so don’t just stare, read her amazing reviews too!

6) Cousin Pons

A newish blogger and one whose appearance clashed with my mad year of work that hammered my reading time. The small amount of his writing I got to was wonderful and I hope to get to more in 2019. His Sinful Sundays are fabulous and I’ve been glad to see him make the round-up more than once!

7) Elliott Henry

This man is a master class in finding multiple ways to photograph masturbation and his site is a feast of creative dick pics. More recently he’s had a regular guest whose photography is stunning! Also, he sends real post which is lovely to receive!

8) E T Costello

Filthy hot writing (do read Lust and the Scrubber!) and a talented artist so check out his drawings as well as his writing.

9) Eve Ray

I met Eve at my first Eroticon in 2016 when F Dot Leonora introduced us over Friday dinner and I’ve loved catching up with her at each one since. She was part of the awesome Smutathon team that raised a bunch of cash for good causes in the summer. High five!

10) Eye

Oh, what to say about wonderful Eye. A role model on how to age elegantly and confidently and what an example to those who need to make a significant change in their life.

11) Ferns

I love reading this blog! I think the main reason I manage to keep on top of this blog so much better than others is all the short pithy and very funny posts!

12) Fettler

I can’t remember how I first came across Fettler’s work but I think we’ve been chatting on and off for almost as long as E40 has been going. His self-portraits are absolutely stunning and regularly shared on Twitter but recently I’ve been happy to see him make an appearance on Sinful Sunday as a guest of May More.

13) Focused and Filthy

I don’t know what to say about this site other than 9/10 I really wish I’d taken the photos! They are amazing. F&F suggested we have a photo adventure in 2019 and frankly I can’t bloody wait!

14) Grace O’Malley

Grace doesn’t seem to be blogging as regularly at the moment but I loved the editing effect she used to use on her Sinful Sundays that gave them the appearance of old masters and I hope she does more again in the future.

15) Hy

Purveyor of the best boob shots in town and the chief of the Boob Day meme, not to mention the most emotional and often painfully raw writing. Often I don’t enjoy Hy’s posts and I want to wrap her in a bear hug but they’re always a powerful read.

16) Indigo Byrd

I think Indigo saw more of the UK in six weeks than some of us see in six years!! So much ground covered and so many cheeky photos along the way!

17) Inner Devil

Not a blogger, but oh my – the legs photos. So many gorgeous photos, so much amazing hosiery!

18) Jedi Hamster

Jedi Hamster is generally more present on my blog than her own, both behind and in front of the camera and as the author of the occasional guest blog. Plus, as I’ve mentioned before, she came up with the E40 name! But once a year her own blog springs to life with her annual New Year New Movies challenge where she watches and blogs about a new film every day in January. So, if you like your movies head on over.

19) Kilted Wookie 

Just look at the man’s photos. Some of my favourite photos of a naked man that I haven’t taken myself!

20) Kisungura

Another new blogger whose work I haven’t had chance to read this year (well, until reading the review of the year just now), but oh my god – the photos! Sensational addition to the Sinful Sunday stable!

21) Marie Rebelle

Marie Marie, how do you get everything done?! It’s been said in more than one round-up this year than you, Molly and Kayla are some kind of super women. Thank you for all you do, for all you wonderful comments and congratulations on the Smut Marathon success. I look forward to 2019’s!

22) Master Pleasing Bitch

What a year this woman has had. Her diary of her breast cancer journey has been deeply fascinating, if that’s a word I can use – it will undoubtedly be a very valuable resource for many women in the future. But it’s not just the cancer – Julie has had a full on year all round – house move, retirement. Wow. I hope 2019 is relaxed.

23) May More

ALL the photos makes me sigh, but the summer pool photos made me downright envious. And the fishnet ones through the autumn. And I love how supportive May is of other bloggers. A great champion!

24) Miss Scarlet

Miss Scarlet started blogging just a few weeks after me and over the years the posts I’ve enjoyed the most are the ones where she discusses and explored issues around body confidence. I love how honest and supportive this community is around these things.

25) Modesty Ablaze

I love love love Modesty’s Polaroids Past series – they are just so evocative of moment in time and they always make me wish I had more photos of when I was young. And her cheeky holiday photos are always hilarious!

26) Mrs Fever

The thing about someone not being on Twitter is that you don’t get to know them as well as well as you do other people in the community and you forget to check for new posts when they’re not rolling past you on the timeline. But this woman’s writing is always amazing in my opinion. She has a unique style that I love.

27) Ollie and Dave

I’m a fairly new follower of Dave’s and oh how I love his feed. I’m not such a fan of the photos he’s shares – a bit too much photoshopped ‘perfection’ that could leave some less body confident people insecure, but oh my – his own photos! They are stunning. The beaches! I want to employ him as a location scout for my photos. And Ollie is a dog.

28) Posy Churchgate

I must admit that I haven’t read as much of Posy’s work as I realise now I should have done, but I always read her #SoSS – I love that she goes to the effort of interviewing people for them!

29) Sex is My New Hobby

I miss seeing Zoe on Sinful Sunday as much as she used to be there – her dancer’s posture made for some superbly poised and intriguing photos. I hope to see them again one day. In the meantime her photos taken on her travels continue to entertain!

30) Signs

Content warning: Signs is a lot less scary in real life than he sometimes appears on Twitter. 😝

The first time I went to Molly and Michael’s for dinner I was really nervous about meeting Michael. I shouldn’t haven’t been. He’s so giving of tech advice, a champion of best blog practice and his occasional writing on D/s Life is really thoughtful.

31) Silver Dom Hates Nazis

I am so sad that Silver Dom’s blog has had to go into hibernation for a while (hopefully not forever!). He was a champion of more cock in Sinful Sunday, which I’m always going to be on on board with, but more importantly he photographed changing bodies, disability and long-standing intimacy beautifully.

32) Southern Sir

I absolutely loved the series of photos he and Kayla did for February photo fest, showing the same scenes from their own perspectives. I also purchased a beautiful wooden plug as a birthday gift earlier this year and can highly recommend his wood artistry. Also, cheekily linking Kayla into John’s entry as she is very nearly 40. Thanks to Molly for rummaging around to find Kayla’s age!

33) Sub Bee

Apart from being wrong about London, Sub Bee is awesome and has great tits, or is that a great arse? I’m not sure! The photos that appear on her blog amaze me week after week. I always love the needle and wax photos the most!

34) Sweetgirl

Really interesting posts about her and her husband’s D/s developing, great reviews and hot Sinful Sundays. And another 1974 baby. Vintage year!

35) Tiggs

Tiggs will occasionally share with us a hot photo, but mainly I’m mentioning her here because she engages so enthusiastically with so many bloggers, frequently liking and responding to our posts and as a judge on Smut Marathon. But mainly because I only just found out she’s 40 and good lord, Sonny better believe I’m going to be taking him up on his offer of lunch for photos of Tiggs for E40!

36) The Guyliner

Hilarious dissections of the weekly Blind Date column in Guardian Weekend, thought-provoking opinions pieces on sexuality and belonging, a keen love of Lady Di and my birthday brother. Win.

37) Victoria Blisse

The smiliest happiest Sinful Sunday-er on the block. These photos always always make me smile, but gosh – those bruises! I’ve never seen anything like it!

38) Wet Coast Kat

A completely new one to me and someone who waved at me on Twitter when I asked who was 40+. But this podcast focused on non-monogamy is definitely on my to listen to list for next year.

39) Wriggly Kitty

I nearly fell over when I met the person behind this pen name earlier in the year. But what a nice surprise it was. When she participates in Sinful Sunday the photos are always great and I love the way she blogs about her life and how her circumstances have changed and continue to change in such an open way. Reading her blog feels like a chat with a friend sometimes.

40) Zak Jane Kier

Queen of organising and compering erotic readings and editor extraordinaire! Make sure you’re following Zak for opportunities to listen to great writers read their work and opportunities to submit your work.

So there we are, 40 (ok, 45!) amazing bloggers over 40. Let me know if you want to be added to the list. And Happy New Year!

As promised, I am adding more fabulous over forties as they come to my attention!

41) The Joy At It Flies. Some truly stunning photographs and interesting posts about her adventures. Plus she used to be a Brosette. Yay.

42) Melina Greenport. Melina and I shared the best newcomer spot in the 2016 Top 100 Sex Bloggers list. She doesn’t blog at the moment, which saddens me because her fiction was utterly brilliant and brilliantly quirky. Do check out her archives!

43) Lascivious Lucy. Author of paranormal erotic fiction and finder of the most awesome vintage images to illustrate her post!